


To Be Better

by BuckysBabe



Category: Marvel, Marvel 616, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Disordered Eating, F/M, Sadness in general, Self Loathing, sorryyyyy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-22
Updated: 2017-02-22
Packaged: 2018-09-26 09:01:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9878411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BuckysBabe/pseuds/BuckysBabe
Summary: You’re working yourself sick in the gym and Bucky has to step in.





	

**Author's Note:**

> another rewrite of something old because i wont have time to update zelus today. uni is kicking my entire ass. im sorry.

You had been working on your attacking and on your defending and on yourself, day in and day out. You woke up an hour before everyone else and went to bed several hours after everyone else. You barely slept and you barely ate. Actually you almost never ate, not unless someone else was watching and you had to. You barely smiled and you barely laughed but you told yourself that it would all be worth it in the end. All you wanted was to make your team mates happy. All your wanted was to make your friends proud.

All you wanted was to be better.

Today was just like any other day for you. You'd been awake for several hours by now, though the sun had risen not too long ago. For the past hour you'd been going through your new workout routine. There was a particular move that was giving you trouble but as you went through it for the nth time you noticed that you were still making mistakes. You'd seen Natasha nail in this two seconds flat. You were about to give up. You were about to accept that you wouldn't ever be good enough when you remembered all those comments you'd read online about being untalented and ungrateful. You didn't want those horrible people to be right so you gritted your teeth and pushed yourself harder, and harder, and yet harder. All you wanted was to make your team mates happy. All your wanted was to make your friends proud.

All you wanted was to be better.

You could feel your muscles protesting and burning with every move you made but you powered through it. You tried the same move again and again. You watched your reflection in the mirror but to your dismay you found that no matter how many times you tried to you would never be as good as Natasha or as good Wanda. You would never be good enough. You could feel yourself getting dizzy but you tried to forget about it and just focus on the way you body was moving. It was during a particularly strenuous part of the workout when you heard a thrumming in your ears and saw your vision-

*****

Bucky had woken yet again to find your side of the bed cold and deserted. His heart ached when he thought of the young woman pushing herself to her physical limits because of some careless words by 'fans'. His heart ached even more when he thought of how little value you placed on yourself. It hurt him to think that you truly believed you were lacking when you were such an integral part of the team. Without you there wouldn't be the Avengers and the same went for the rest of the team. They were all needed and they were all important and they all mattered but unfortunately you didn't think so. At least about yourself.

Bucky sighed as he slugged his way out of the bedroom. He threw on some sweats, a hoodie and some sneakers before he left for their practice room, where no doubt he would find you working yourself to the bone. He entered the building and could already hear the music blasting. He wondered how long you had been there but in his heart he already knew the answer. Hours. He walked through the corridor towards the room they always practised in when he noticed that your steps sounded kind of off-kilter. Bucky knew you would never be so careless with his foot placement and it worried him. He quickened his last few steps before he let himself into the studio.

As he waked through the door you fell.

*****

You woke with your head on something that was both hard and soft. You were comfortable and you noticed that your muscles weren't screaming in protest any more. It felt nice to rest. You never wanted to move from this spot but you knew that that wasn't an option. You needed to get up and you needed to practice and you needed to work. You needed to be better.

All you wanted was to be better.

“Where do you think you're going, doll?” a deep and raspy voice asked as you were pushing yourself up. Immediately your eyes snapped open and you came face to face with a very worried looking Bucky – though admittedly it was hard to tell because his face was all upside down.

“Buck?” you asked in confusion. It was way too early for Bucky to be awake let alone fully dressed and outside the dorm. This is when you realised the super comfortable cushion he was lying on was Bucky's thigh. Your cheeks coloured red as you swiftly got up and faced him.

“Don't look at me like that. I was worried about you so I came to check on you and its good that I came in when I did! You could have cracked your head open...” Bucky grumbled at you. A warm feeling blossomed in your chest.

“Buck... You didn't need to...” you muttered in an embarrassed voice.

“Don't be silly, doll. Now get on. I'm taking you back to bed and you're not doing anything today apart from eating and sleeping, understand?” Bucky said in a no-nonsense voice but you knew better than to take it to heart. Although Bucky seemed hard and cold on the surface, he was the one that understood you the best so you simply nodded in acknowledgement. As you tried to get up you could feel your head grow fuzzy again. You lost your footing and closed your eyes, almost welcoming the darkness that finally let you rest but yet again Bucky caught you.

Bucky's arms wrapped around your waist so comfortably. You tried to ignore the butterflies that seemed to be going rampant in your belly. You ignored how your heart seemed to be beating in double time. You tried to ignore how sweaty your hands had suddenly become. You also ignored the rosy blush that was rising to colour your cheeks again. You hastily took a step away from Bucky, extracting yourself from his hold, and gingerly walked around him, all the while with Bucky's hands supporting and holding onto you somehow.

When you were finally behind him Bucky squatted to let you climb on him. Your skin burned in the most delicious way all over but you tried your best to ignore it and just settled yourself more comfortably on Bucky's back. Before you knew the soft back and forth motion of Bucky walking back to the dorm had caused you to fall asleep.


End file.
